


As Time Goes By

by Sir_Bedevere



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Apologies, Chance Meetings, Friendship, Gen, Making Up, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post Darillium
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:26:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24357277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sir_Bedevere/pseuds/Sir_Bedevere
Summary: Of all the restaurants on all the planets in all the galaxies in all of the known universe, he had to roll up to this one.A chance meeting on Darillium leads to the Doctor giving Jack the one thing he has always really needed from him.An apology.
Relationships: The Doctor & Jack Harkness, Twelfth Doctor & Jack Harkness
Comments: 10
Kudos: 48





	As Time Goes By

Of all the restaurants on all the planets in all the galaxies in all of the known universe, he had to roll up to this one. 

The Doctor wasn’t hiding. For certain. But he was avoiding the man who was currently hammering on the door of the TARDIS. 

“Doctor, come on! It’s me!”

“I didn’t know you had friends,” Nardole said, appearing beside the Doctor. He was, for some reason, eating peanut butter out of a jar. 

“I have friends,” the Doctor said, peering around the corner. “Just because you’ve never met them doesn’t mean they don’t exist.”

Nardole shrugged and leaned under his arm to look as well. He sucked the spoon thoughtfully into his mouth. 

“Are you going to say hello? He seems keen to see you.”

The Doctor sighed and closed his eyes. One last trip out to Darillium. Some quiet time, by himself, tucked up in a corner with the memories and then he’d fly away to Earth like a good boy, back to the vault to settle in for the long haul. And he’d almost got away with it. 

“He’s sitting down to wait,” Nardole said airily, scraping his spoon into the bottom of the jar. “I don’t think you’ll be able to get away. I could-”

“No. No, no, no. Don’t do anything.”

That was the thing about Jack Harkness. He could, quite literally, wait forever. 

The Doctor took his sunglasses from his pocket and slipped them on. Nardole nodded. 

“I’ll just pop off then. Call me when you’re done.”

The Doctor stuck his hands in his pockets and stepped out from around the corner. Jack’s eyes were closed, his head leaning back against the wall. He looked tired. He looked exactly like the Doctor felt. How old would Jack be now? Didn’t matter. That wasn’t a question the Doctor wanted the answer to. 

“What are you doing down there?” the Doctor asked. “They have some very nice sofas in the bar. Velvet ones. Or leather, if you like that kind of thing.”

Jack opened his eyes slowly, a small smile on his face. Not the grin that Doctor remembered. Great. Jack had always been so easy to read. It wasn’t fair if he didn’t make his face easy to understand any more. 

“Just waiting for someone, out of the way,” Jack shrugged, hauling himself to his feet. He crossed his arms across his chest. The Doctor copied him. He didn’t speak. Jack was doing that thing, where he turned his head, looked out of the corner of his eye. The Doctor had never understood why he did that. 

“What’s your name, soldier?” the Doctor asked. 

“Captain Jack Harkness. Pleased to meet you, sir.”

“You haven’t changed it then. I wondered, with you being always on the move.”

He didn’t see Jack’s face change. It was too quick. And he also didn’t move fast enough to escape the hug.

“Doctor! I knew it was you!”

Jack’s hugs had always been something, and the Doctor didn’t have a chance of stopping his feet leaving the floor. Still, he probably owed him this. He owed him something. So he waited an entire five seconds before he acted. 

“Yes, alright,” he said, hands scrabbling at the back of Jack’s coat. “That’s enough of that.”

“Not a hugger, huh? I would say sorry. But I’m not.” Jack laughed. That was more like it. That was the old smile.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” the Doctor grumbled, straightening out his coat. He tugged on his cuffs, and when he looked up, Jack had that look again. 

“I can’t believe you’re here, Doctor. Of all the restaurants.”

He didn’t sound exactly like Jack used to either. How long had it been?

“Was that bar the last place I saw you?” the Doctor asked.

“Yep. At least it was the last you that I recognised.”

“That’s the thing about you, Jack. Remarkably linear, for someone that I know.”

The smile was tight at the edges. Tight at the eyes. River used to smile like that sometimes. 

“You know me, Doctor. Always passing through somewhere.”

The TARDIS was humming in his head. She’d always liked Jack. A sucker for swagger and a pretty face, she was. Smart too. Smarter than he’d ever be. 

“You better come in for a drink then,” he said. 

“A drink? You’ve changed. Tell me it’s the good stuff.”

“Would I have anything else?” the Doctor grumbled, fumbling through his pocket for the key. Before he could find it, Jack tugged at his own collar and pulled out a TARDIS key on a string.

“Never gave it back,” he said, holding it out.

“I should be more careful who I hand these out to,” the Doctor mumbled, but he took the key anyway. And, against his better judgement, he gave it back too once he’d unlocked the door. 

“This new regeneration, he’s kinda grumpy,” Jack said, following him through the door. “Sorta like the good old days.”

 _The good old days?_ Oh. Jack’s first one. 

“He wasn’t grumpy,” the Doctor said, shrugging off his coat. “He was sad.”

“I know that,” Jack said, taking off his own coat. “Didn’t know that he knew it though.”

“Of course he knew, Jack. You think someone like him could fool himself into thinking he was anything but?”

“He had his moments,” Jack shrugged, swinging himself up the stairs towards the bookcase. “You’ve redecorated.”

“And you don’t like it?”

“It’s pretty great actually. Love the shelves. Split level living area, open plan. Very in. Well, very in somewhere.”

The Doctor watched him as he prowled around the top level. Touching things. Jack was always touching things. Empathy. He’d always had plenty of that. Human from the fifty-first century, and that was the thing the Doctor always thought of. What humans would become. If they were all like Jack, it could be a much worse fate for them. 

“What are you doing on Darillium, Jack?” the Doctor called up, as he opened the cabinet and poured two glasses of the good stuff. “Not up to mischief, I hope.”

“I’m a reformed character. You know that by now. I’m just passing through like I said.”

That was hardly an explanation, and he sounded shifty too, but the Doctor knew he could hardly judge. Besides, if Jack was keeping secrets that would make it easier for him to keep them as well. 

“Well, when you’ve finished touching everything up there, I’ll be in the library. With the whisky. I trust you remember the way.”

It didn’t take long for Jack to join him. He’d always been the same in that respect. Following him or Rose around like a devoted puppy, like he’d miss out if he wasn’t right in the middle of the action. 

The Doctor considered his armchair, then sat on the sofa. Jack dropped down beside him and immediately turned to lean his elbow on the sofa back, resting his chin in his hand. Such a familiar gesture. How many nights had the two of them sat up talking long after Rose had gone to bed? 

Such a long time ago now.

The Doctor handed him his glass and for a moment they sipped in silence. 

“So how many have I missed out on? Regenerations?”

“Just the one, I think. Bowtie. Tweed jacket. Obnoxious chin. Like Tigger from Winnie The Pooh.”

Jack chuckled. 

“Maybe I’ll run into him one day. I’ll keep a lookout.”

“You’d know him. Recognise him better than you did me, probably.”

Jack was studying his face, and although the Doctor wanted to look away, he held his eye. 

“You know,” Jack said. “You remind me of someone I knew. Very similar face. Back in Cardiff, when I was with Torchwood.”

Telling the story about the man that Donna had saved, about choosing faces, about descendents and bloodlines and human history, seemed like a lot of effort. So the Doctor just shrugged and sipped his drink.

“One of those faces, I suppose. Unremarkable.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Those eyebrows are impressive. And the hair. Bold choices. And I saw that velvet coat. You’re a bit of a showman, I bet.”

“I better not tell you about my guitar, then.”

Jack threw his head back and laughed. That was more like it. The Doctor remembered that. 

The TARDIS suddenly decided at that moment to switch on the fire, casting long shadows over them both. Jack sighed and slid down onto the floor, leaning his back against the sofa and stretching his feet out towards the warmth. 

“Same old TARDIS. You might change but she never does.”

“Nope. The most reliable thing about me.”

“So are you alone at the moment?” Jack asked, and the Doctor understood. He’d taken himself to the floor so that he didn’t have to look at him while he asked the difficult questions. Jack had rarely been so discrete. Maybe he could tell this was what the Doctor needed. 

“Nardole’s out there somewhere, causing chaos. He’s the only one at the moment.”

“He?” Jack said, but there was no heat in it. Or maybe the Doctor had just got so used to River’s incessant flirting that even Jack paled in comparison. The two of them would have got on so well, he realised, with an odd pang in his chest. They’d have been _insufferable._

“No need to be jealous,” the Doctor said lightly. “Nardole’s not my type.”

“Glad to hear it. Only room for one handsome bit on the side in this ship.”

“Jack-”

“Don’t worry, I’m not looking for an invitation. I did my time.”

“You make it sound like a prison sentence. I didn’t realise it was that bad.”

There was an intake of breath, like Jack was going to speak again, but then silence. A chill, like the Doctor had said the wrong thing _again._

Then Jack’s hand snaked out and wrapped around the Doctor’s ankle. It was alright. Through his boot, it just felt like a gentle weight. He could bear it. 

“Doctor, you have to know. Being with you is the greatest gift the universe ever gave me. But I’m tired. I’m really, really tired. And you left me. Whatever happens, anything that happens, I can’t forget that.”

“That’s what I do,” the Doctor said, and the gentle fingers tightened slightly. Still bearable. “I leave people.”

“I waited for you. I waited so long, and when you finally came back - the way you looked at me. Like you couldn’t believe I existed and that you thought maybe I shouldn’t. I know that but - I guess I just hoped you’d know what to do.”

“You were unique, Jack Harkness. I didn’t know what to do with you.”

He hesitated, thinking of Me. Of what she had become. What he had made her, and how Jack hadn’t become that at all. Then he reached out and laid a hand on Jack’s head. 

“But for what it is worth now - it wasn’t fair. And I’m sorry.”

There was a small sound. A sob maybe? Jack was in touch with his emotions, always had been. He reached up and gripped the Doctor’s hand, tugged it down until he could rest the palm against his cheek. The Doctor shuffled closer, flexing the fingers on his other hand so that Jack could have his moment undisturbed. 

“I just wanted to hear you say that,” Jack mumbled. “Not because I thought I deserved it but just - just so I knew someone understood. What I am. What it really means.”

“I understand. I should have said it before. But Pinstripe - he had a lot on his mind.”

“And you don’t?”

“Ah, I am so much older and wiser now. Very old. And very, very wise.”

Jack chuckled wetly, and released his hand. The Doctor wiped it on the back of Jack’s shirt in what he hoped was a friendly gesture. River had been encouraging of those. 

Jack hauled himself back up onto the sofa and picked up his glass. He downed the rest of it, probably barely tasting it, and then smiled shyly. His eyes were shiny. 

“Well, it wasn’t really your place to say it, Doctor, but thank you. I like this regeneration. Reminds me of my Doctor.”

For a moment, he thought about telling Jack about Me. But he didn’t know where she was, or what she was like now, and the idea of Jack turning into her. It was too much. His captain was too good for that. And it wasn’t fair to give him another impossible thing to find. He’d spent enough time searching. And waiting. If they ran into one another, then they did. And if they didn’t - it was probably for the best. 

“I’m still your Doctor, Jack,” he said instead. “And I promise that from now on, I always will be. As best as I know how to be.”

It wasn’t much of a promise, and the both of them knew it. But Jack smiled anyway, wiped his face, and held out his glass. 

“A refill might be a good start. You know. One for the road.”

“If and _only_ if you don’t throw it back like you did the last one. Savouring only.”

“Gotcha.”


End file.
